Turing Fest

This came up in another exchange, so I wanted to ask: what principles govern the situation when:

-a relationship is nominated, and one or more characters are nominated in a gender neutral form

-someone requests that relationship and has a strong preference as to the gender(s)

-someone offers that relationship and has a strong preference as to the gender(s)

-those two preferences clash.

Is the onus on a recipient to either nominate the gender variants they prefer, OR to request ambiguous relationships only in the cases where they are neutral / have *mild* preferences about what genders they will receive?

Or is the onus on a creator, in offering an ambiguous relationship, to be willing to create a fanwork that has the gender combination their recipient prefers (if such a preference is stated)?

Or something else?


For example, IDK, "group: Self-Emancipated Sex Bot/ Self-Emancipated Domestic Servant Android". Should a recipient be able to request that and specify that they only want m/m? Or should an author be able to offer that in the expectation that they can write whatever gender combination they like?


Full disclosure: I probably won't have time to participate in this fest, so my opinion is not super relevant here, but I think it is a question that is likely to come up and that is useful to consider before nominations begin, so that everyone can have the same expectation when nominating. I hope this is helpful and not out of line, and I'm sorry if it's the latter!